Yesterday I was having one of those days when I just didn't know what to do with myself. Sometimes, since I am not working anymore, I have more time on my hands than I know what to do with. Not that there aren't things to do here in the house--but I was not in the mood for housework and it was too cold outside for yard work. I was also terribly uninspired for doing anything artsy.
I've been pondering opening an Etsy store and I may still do so, but I'm not so sure its a thing that will bring in much money. Not so sure its worth the time--if I think of it as a job. I know from my old days doing artwork for Ebay is that you can't just do what you want to and sell it--you have to do what other people will want to buy. You also have to have a following and it takes time and a certain amount of luck as well as hard work to establish yourself.
I saw one artist on Etsy who had a little blurb on her profile stating that she would not be doing anymore special orders. She had a fairly low rate of sales and her stuff was just wonderful--but I felt she deserved better pay for it than she was asking. It was unique. I hoped for her, that she had other outlets to sell as well--or that she was doing it for the joy not just the cash. Perhaps it was just a pastime for her--I could enjoy that--but why sell it then? Maybe it would be nice to keep something? Or just do it for gifts? To me-- creating for the joy of it was always better than selling. I enjoy going to family homes and seeing my things on display at Christmas, I always felt funny selling them. Some of my nicest work escaped me that way, I never saw it again. Did it end up in a rummage sale eventually? Who knows?
I don't think I had my rose colored glasses on yesterday, I think partly I was overtired and partly uninspired. I guess I was sort of brooding about things. Back to that 'what shall I really do with my life now?' Line of thought. Ugh!
I felt interested in doing artwork and gardening and writing--but not sure what direction to go. I felt like--just blogging every move I make--seems almost pointless--its not a novel and I'm not going to get much out of it but writing practice, maybe its therapy?
At one point in the day I took a short nap in a chair with my coffee cup beside me--I know--weird. Who naps with coffee right? Probably a 50 something woman, with a mainly empty nest who is at a loss what the heck to do with her silly self. Cook until she weighs a ton?
I just closed my eyes with my feet up for a while. I woke about half an hour later to bird song outside the window nearest me. It was very pretty, I think it must have been a Carolina Wren, although it almost seemed like two different birds, maybe a wren and a song sparrow in turn?
I took the singing as a sort of encouraging sign and decided to I do something to get out of my bum mood. Mojo and I hopped in the car and drove to Hobby Lobby where I picked up some more felting supplies and a book on the subject that interested me. I've bought more books lately-- ha! I could remember when I NEVER bought them because I was surrounded by them all day. I do like to own some of my own however--I write in them and re-read them, you can't do that with library books.
My trip to the craft store was a lift. I came back with all kinds of ideas and after starting dinner I sat down and did a little bit of work on a quick project using a piece of a recycled wool sweater I had purchased at Goodwill. I had ideas again for doing art--so I guess I was beginning to recover. I was still feeling out of sorts though, tired maybe. I probably needed a good night's sleep.
Just about then the phone rang.
I saw the caller ID and the number looked familiar for some reason--just as I was answering I remembered it was the Library System prefix. It has been a long while since I put my last application in there. However, with the holidays and the way the wheels turn slowly there, I guess I should have known there could still have been a call. In my mind, I had mostly 'moved on' and I was not thinking about it anymore.I wasn't even sure I wanted a job that much anymore. After all, I have all these canning jars and I could probably can enough homemade soup to feed everyone here and then some. ;) I could also sell my artwork and maybe find a niche for my writing...
Well I guess I am going to have an interview for the job I had been hoping to get most-the one that is closest, and seems a good fit to me. The job has some particulars about it that I know I'm qualified for--some coordinating of programs and displays--I have done that sort of thing happily many times and know I can handle it and enjoy it. Its one of the few really creative things you can do in the library system with my education level. I didn't finish college because I was already a Mommy at the time and it just seemed not to be the right direction for me at the time. I got my eduction differently but I think I still have a pretty good background for this job.
Funny though, I was still in that bit of a funk after I got the call. I didn't really know until about 4 am this morning that I still wanted the job. I woke up and my mind was working through things--I hate when I can't sleep and my mind is off on some tangent like that. The old thinker was chewing on going back to work and thinking about things like having my own little space in the workroom--full timers get that usually--I never did as a part timer. I remembered it was one of the things I used to wish for. I was decorating it in my thoughts! Ha! Funny. Anyhow I realized I enjoyed my last job and could enjoy another one--especially mixing with the folks. I realized that I wanted the job.
Of course--that opens up a whole 'nuther possibility-- wanting a job doesn't mean its going to be mine.
That's the way it is. I set out trying to get a full time job in the system over three years ago. I've interviewed for full time positions in the library system 7 times at least. A few times I put in applications and didn't get an interview at all. Sometimes I knew an interview hadn't gone well. Sometimes it went very very well, and I knew it--but I still didn't get the job. Almost every time someone else got the job-- it was someone who was already working part time in the branch that was hiring. As they say, its not always what you know--its Who you know. Frankly, I can't complain about that too much because I know I had a leg up at my last job because they knew me, I'd been there as a floater and they'd seen me work and knew I fit in with the staff. There's a good reason managers like to hire the devil they know more than the one they don't. Its much easier. They have enough to do without wondering what sort of nut they will find they hired, after its too late to change their minds. The worst sort of nuts are usually the ones who never leave too.
Well so here we go. I am not going to have to have a first interview. I guess my last interview was enough to get me in for an interview directly with the branch and circulation managers. That's great. I do know them, although, I seldom see them and doubt they remember me much if at all. Its easier for a part time aide to remember a manager than for a manager to remember a part timer who works at a different branch. There aren't as many managers as there are part timers.
I do know I have some very good recommendations and a good work record and a reasonably good resume. Now its really up to me to interview well and then its out of my hands, if they like me best--I may be going back to work in a library. Full time though, with better pay, benefits and my own little 'spot' to decorate--possibly with little wooly critters? Maybe a library String Quartet made entirely of squirrels? After all, libraries are classy places.
We shall see..